Sunday 16 September 2012

What not to do when trying to improve your standards.


Upon arriving to Eastern Europe the women were noticeably hotter, however my standards have not necessarily improved. I set myself an objective and it was to aim for nothing less than an 8, but unfortunately I have been left visually unsatisfied with the women I have been dipping my penis into.

I returned to Krakow to not only pick up my replacement bankcards, but to also seal the deal with the Polish girl I had hooked up with 3 weeks beforehand. She had been sending me messages via facebook saying that she would like me to visit her family in Wroclaw, but I wasn’t about to give her the idea that I wanted to be her boyfriend so I politely declined the offer and suggested we “just see how things go”. When making this decision I was in two minds, would her panties drop faster if she thought we were heading toward a relationship? Or would I be better off dodging the questions and making it obvious I was just in it for the sex? For some unknown reason I went with the latter.

We had been making out behind the reception desk for the first few nights, but trying to escalate whilst she was supposed to be working seemed completely out of the question. I decided that it would be best to question her cooking ability and fish for an invite to her house. I figured that her dinner table would be at most 10 metres from her bedroom so logistically it was much easier than any other situation I had been in with her before. She took the bait and an invite quickly followed.

She shared her house with two other people, one of whom slept in a bed only metres from hers and the only privacy was a curtain that covered around half the doorway. The thought of me banging away whilst her roommate had no other choice but to listen was fairly awesome, however it dramatically decreased my chances of sealing the deal if she wasn’t keen on putting on a show.

The night had quickly turned from dinner to vodka, and as alcohol is the number one sex drug of all time, it was exactly the direction I was hoping for it to go. After a few hours of solid drinking it was time for everyone to leave. I had tried to kiss the Polish girl earlier in the night, but I had received a head turn on each attempt so I was unsure where I stood. I assumed she was just playing hard to get so I brushed it off and didn’t become frustrated.

The Polish girl’s friend seemed to have taken a liking to Lionel so he ended up weaseling his way into her bed the only way he knows how; by not taking no for an answer. As I lay in the Polish girl’s bed waiting for her to return from the shower, I heard every objection that could possibly come from a girl’s mouth. Her resistance was no match for Lionel’s objection handling skills and I was stuck listening to the soothing sounds of a plump little polish girl’s moans.

The Polish girl would return from the shower just as the moans had stopped and the snoring had begun. The challenge was set: Get a timid girl horny to the sounds of Lionel snoring with her roommate wide-awake only metres away. This unfortunately would prove too difficult of a task and I would go to sleep with a face covered in pussy juice and testicles filled to the brim.

The following night we would be forced out of the hostel because a school group had made a group booking. This would now allow me to bring a girl back to the hostel without the risk of it getting back to my polish girl. After four nights of nothing but kissing and meaningless foreplay, I was once again out to fuck anything. I would hook myself a minger and take all my sexual frustration out on her vagina. 

My top  3 quotes from her lips to my ears mid-bang were as follows:

“Australian guys are the best!”

“Fuck it! Fuck it! Fuck it!”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY FUCKING GGGGGGODDDD!”


I however would receive no validation from this and am still without doubt needing to improve my standards.

- Gavin Madden


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