Settling down: My hell

‘Settling down’ definition: Allowing social norms to dictate the way you live your life. Opting for more responsibility, tie downs and routine. Buy a house, get a wife and have children not because you want to, but because society says it’s time to. Starve yourself of freedom until you’ve worked enough to live off your superannuation then, and only then, you are free to travel the world like you should have done in your youth.

Settling down can suck my dick!

Most people think they settle down because they want to settle down. I would argue that they settle down because they feel the clamps of society are tightening and must do responsible things now otherwise it’ll be too late. People settle down because they want stability and they want stability because they have a deep overwhelming fear that they’ll be in their 40’s and 50’s with nothing.

The life of a man who settles down too early 

18-19: Goes to Europe once on a Contiki tour (20 countries in 12 days)

20-21: His friends get girlfriends so he settles for some chick he met at his local pub just so he isn’t left out.

22-23: He moves in with his girlfriend and works hard to save enough money for a house because that’s what his parents told him to do.

24-25: He complains to his friends about his girlfriend, but out of fear he stays with his girlfriend because he feels that he can’t do any better.

26-27: He has a baby with his fiancé and struggles to pay the bills each week.

28-30: He has a full time job, 3 kids, a fat wife and a mortgage he’ll be paying off until he’s 55.

At 45 his wife cheats on him, but allows her to take half of everything because he's a pussy. 

Once his mortgage is paid off he goes overseas to try to claim back some of the youth he felt is owed to him.

The life of a man who doesn’t settle down 

18-19: Goes to Europe for a few months and develops a taste for freedom.

20-21: Acquires a girlfriend, but still continues to go out and socialise even if she doesn’t wish to because he doesn’t live by her rules.

22-23: Breaks up with his girlfriend whilst overseas because she continues to try to smother him with requests to stay in and ‘act his age’.

23-28: Avoids any tie downs i.e. house, loans, girlfriends and spends his time earning money to travel the world.

29-30: He finds a way to earn passive income through projects he works on in his spare time.

31-35: By this time he has travelled to over 50 countries and banged over 100 women.

The rest of his years are completely up to him. He has enough passive income to continue living the life he does or if his biological urges are strong enough to have children he can choose to. Not because of society's pressures, but because he feels everything he can do whilst youthful has been done.

The difference between the two men is fear. The ‘settler’ fears breaking the norm will not be welcomed by his peers. He fears not being good enough for anyone, so he chooses to stick with the first girl that was ever interested in him.

Fear forces him to map out his life 10 years at a time rather than day by day. 

The 'settler' makes his choices out of fear and nothing else.

I know which of the two I’m working towards.

- Gavin Madden