10 signs that a girl will fuck you

1. She says things like "You can come over, but I'm not having sex with you". 

2. She over uses smiley faces and exclamation marks when messaging you. 

3. She accuses you of being a 'player'. 

4. She's never on her iPhone when talking to you face to face. 

5. She tries to convince you that 'she's not like all the other girls'. 

6. She thinks that coming to sit next to you on your bed to watch YouTube videos is a great idea. She agrees that all the videos you choose to watch are absolutely fucking awesome. 

7. She takes 'selfies' of herself with ridiculous amounts of cleavage with the title "Bored". 

8. She purposely eats dick shaped food in front of you. 

9. You think tribal tattoos, crystal meth and starting fights are great and she agrees. 

10. She complains to her friends that you're an asshole. 

- Gavin Madden

Taking one for your dick

The night is coming to an end, your dick pre-warned you that no matter what he needed to be in a vagina by the end of the night. Your plan to fuck a super model has fallen through and all the attractive girls have either been snapped up or have gone home. The only girls left are 6’s or below. Your head says “Let’s get the fuck outta here!”, but your dick says, “C’mon man, you promised me pussy tonight. I don’t care what the girl looks like, I’m not leaving without it!” You take a deep breath and finish the rest of your drink, it’s time to take one for the team your dick.

It was 2am and I left was left at the bar with one of my good friends, Rita. I had had no luck with any of the girls I had approached and with a belly full of alcohol and testosterone pumping through my veins, I scanned the outdoor area for a passable female to pounce on.

“Hey, I like your hair.”

My attention quickly moved from scanning the bar to the girls sitting next to me.

“Thanks” I replied, quickly analysing the pair as I poured myself another beer from my jug.

“Where are you guys from? You don’t sound like you’re from here.”

“I’m from Norway and my cousin is from Denmark.” She replied in an Americanised accent.

She was cute, well dressed, had a huge pair of tits, but by no means the quality of woman I had imagined fucking in the first week back from pillaging the girls of eastern Europe. Rita was giving me the same ‘Here we go again’ look as if to know exactly what was going on in my head. She knew the signs all too well; I was going to fuck the Norwegian, not because I wanted to, but because my dick demanded vagina.

After no more than 20 minutes of meaningless conversation the bar was beginning to empty out.

“My cousin is going home, but she lives at someone else’s house. Can you walk me home?”

“Okay” I said, without an ounce of hesitation in my voice.

As we stood up I noticed that she was a lot slimmer than I had originally thought. Having such massive breasts it’s only human for me to assume that the rest of her body would be in proportion, but this thankfully was not the case.

As we left the bar I decided it would be the best for me to kiss her just to remind her I wasn’t going to be her friend on the walk home. I wanted to make sure she knew I was an annoying little sex pest that wasn’t going home without anything less than a blowjob.

“I think she got the idea” I remember thinking as she unzipped my jeans and wrapped her hands around my cock. As she got on her knees and put my cock halfway down her throat I took a moment to look around and take in the scenery. We were in the middle of lit up street only metres away from a set of units and a children’s playground.

A public blowjob was not on my bucket-list, but her cock sucking skills were of such a high standard that I wouldn’t have cared if a group of seventy-year-old men were watching us through a nearby window.

I could feel myself about to cum, but I didn’t want to blow until I had fucked the Norwegian. Before I could tell her to stop she got up off her knees and started jogging towards the Children’s playground. She had stopped blowing me at the perfect time. It was as if she had a sixth sense and that sixth sense was knowing that semen was coming.

I followed her across the road and into the playground with my cock still flopped out of my zipper. She began to unzip her jeans as she unclipped her bra.

“I want you to fuck me on the slide.” She said as she pulled me down between her legs.

Fucking girls in playgrounds is something that should be happening on the way home from a house party as a teenager or when you’re backpacking in Europe. It shouldn’t be happening as a 26 year old in your hometown. It’s amazing what situations your dick will get you in, but just think of how much less fun you’d have if you masturbated before you went out.

- Gavin Madden

Settling down: My hell

‘Settling down’ definition: Allowing social norms to dictate the way you live your life. Opting for more responsibility, tie downs and routine. Buy a house, get a wife and have children not because you want to, but because society says it’s time to. Starve yourself of freedom until you’ve worked enough to live off your superannuation then, and only then, you are free to travel the world like you should have done in your youth.

Settling down can suck my dick!

Most people think they settle down because they want to settle down. I would argue that they settle down because they feel the clamps of society are tightening and must do responsible things now otherwise it’ll be too late. People settle down because they want stability and they want stability because they have a deep overwhelming fear that they’ll be in their 40’s and 50’s with nothing.

The life of a man who settles down too early 

18-19: Goes to Europe once on a Contiki tour (20 countries in 12 days)

20-21: His friends get girlfriends so he settles for some chick he met at his local pub just so he isn’t left out.

22-23: He moves in with his girlfriend and works hard to save enough money for a house because that’s what his parents told him to do.

24-25: He complains to his friends about his girlfriend, but out of fear he stays with his girlfriend because he feels that he can’t do any better.

26-27: He has a baby with his fiancé and struggles to pay the bills each week.

28-30: He has a full time job, 3 kids, a fat wife and a mortgage he’ll be paying off until he’s 55.

At 45 his wife cheats on him, but allows her to take half of everything because he's a pussy. 

Once his mortgage is paid off he goes overseas to try to claim back some of the youth he felt is owed to him.

The life of a man who doesn’t settle down 

18-19: Goes to Europe for a few months and develops a taste for freedom.

20-21: Acquires a girlfriend, but still continues to go out and socialise even if she doesn’t wish to because he doesn’t live by her rules.

22-23: Breaks up with his girlfriend whilst overseas because she continues to try to smother him with requests to stay in and ‘act his age’.

23-28: Avoids any tie downs i.e. house, loans, girlfriends and spends his time earning money to travel the world.

29-30: He finds a way to earn passive income through projects he works on in his spare time.

31-35: By this time he has travelled to over 50 countries and banged over 100 women.

The rest of his years are completely up to him. He has enough passive income to continue living the life he does or if his biological urges are strong enough to have children he can choose to. Not because of society's pressures, but because he feels everything he can do whilst youthful has been done.

The difference between the two men is fear. The ‘settler’ fears breaking the norm will not be welcomed by his peers. He fears not being good enough for anyone, so he chooses to stick with the first girl that was ever interested in him.

Fear forces him to map out his life 10 years at a time rather than day by day. 

The 'settler' makes his choices out of fear and nothing else.

I know which of the two I’m working towards.

- Gavin Madden

The virgin lesbian from Scotland

Walking the streets of Edinburgh it won’t take you long to notice that there are very few bangable women. If their masculine accent doesn’t deter you, their out of shape, pale bodies will. They seem to have a drinking culture similar to that of Australia where the girls will drink as many beers, if not more, than the average male would. The way groups of men surrounded the few attractive women was not unlike a herd of buffalo protecting their calves from potential predators. I decided that there had to be a way around this and I was keen to find out exactly what that was.

During my time in Edinburgh I worked in a large call centre about a half an hour bus ride from the city centre. I had made friends with a cute lesbian by the name of Rita. Rita was short, thin and, much to my displeasure, had hair shorter than mine, but as soon as she invited me to come to a gay bar with her something clicked.  The only guys surrounding hot women at gay bars are those in pursuit of cock. Why hadn’t I thought of this before?

“So are you gonna come?”

“Yes, yes I think I will.” I said, hoping that it would be as I had imagined; a free for all pussy paradise.

Within 10 minutes of being inside the club I had already gotten used to being pinched on the ass and witnessing more man on man action than a gay orgy porno. It seemed as if making eye contact was enough for a well-dressed man to approach you.

“If you don’t take a girl home tonight, you’re going to be having sex with me, okay?” Yelled Rita.

“Ummm okay” I replied struggling to hear her over what seemed like the entire Kylie Minogue album.

I knew Rita was a lesbian so I never thought about her sexually and although she was cute, I wasn’t prepared to have sex with her if I could find something more appealing.

Once we had shook hands to signify a ‘deal’ I noticed an attractive woman sitting nearby. Her hair was long and dark, her lips were red and she had more tattoos than I’d care to count. She was talking to a man that quite clearly favoured penis over vagina so without thinking I blurted out:

“Hey! If I find a boy for your friend to kiss I get to kiss you, okay?” I said with a stupid smirk on my face.

“Hmmm okay, go for it.” She replied

As I quickly scanned the room I was bumped into.

“Sorry!”

“That’s okay. Hey, do me a favour and kiss that guy.” I said, pointing over to couch.

He looked him up and down, making a quick assessment as he took a few steps toward the couch. With an outstretch his hand he gestured for him to come a little closer.

Their eye contact seem to last a lifetime as their mouths closed in on each other. As they kissed I looked over at the tattooed girl, shrugged my shoulders and flashed her a cheesy smile. As I sat down next to her she jumped on top of me and grinded as if our genitals were magnetized. We had become ‘that couple’ in the club within 2 minutes of meeting each other.

After a few hours of the most intense make out sessions of all time she decided that she needed to go home.

“I live one and half hours away so I have to leave now because I have work in the morning.” She said, seeming disappointed at the prospect of not having sex with me.

As she left Rita swooped in as if she was waiting for the tattooed girl to leave the entire time.

“I suppose you’re taking me home.”

“I suppose so.” I replied.

As we made our way back to apartment, which was conveniently located 10 minutes away, I remember thinking to myself, “So I’m about to fuck a virgin lesbian.” Through a drunken haze I quickly came to terms with the situation.

We made our way through the front door and entered my bedroom. She made a quick dash for my bed and started undressing as I developed an erection. We had been kissing for no more than 30 seconds when she whispered a sentence I had heard far too often, “I’ve got my period.”

Why would she offer me sex if she was on her period? Puzzling.

“That’s okay.” I replied, spreading her legs as my dick closed in on her odourless snatch.

“No, you can’t fuck me in my pussy.”

As I eased my cock inside of her ass I decided that fucking a lesbian virgin in her ass was better than no sex at all.

- Gavin Madden

The night I lost my virginity

The moment your penis enters a vagina for the first time your thirst for female flesh hits an all time high. You come crashing through a wall that solidifies you as more man than boy. You have more of an idea as to why men spend over 90% of their lives dedicated to having a pussy wrapped around their needy meat swords. For me my quest for a never ending supply of vagina began a little something like this…

It was the eve of my 17^th birthday and I had invited 15 of my closest friends to my dad’s house to get drunk. During my teenage years I had been very close to having sex on several occasions, but simply lacked the nerve to take control of a situation and give a girl the very thing they all deserve; a penis inside of them.

With no facial hair, muscle or height I was a very young looking teenager. I had a classic case of ‘class clown syndrome’ and fell somewhere in between the most popular and least popular kids within my school’s social hierarchy. By this time most of the cool kids had had sex and although I didn’t have a target in mind, a girl by the name of Jacinta did.

Jacinta was a tall, fair skinned brunette who I had been friends with ever since she joined my drama class and although we were good friends, hooking up with her never seemed to cross my mind. For Jacinta it would seem she had been thinking about it for some time.

The party at my dad’s was like any teenager’s party:

·      Get as drunk as possible.

·      Do stupid shit.

·      Brag about how drunk you are.

It seemed to be a relatively normal night until Jacinta mentioned that she “had a present for me.”

“What is it?” I replied.

“I can’t tell you here.”

I will admit that I was intrigued, but I would never of thought that the present she was about to give me was her vagina.

“Come with me.” She whispered as she took my hand, guiding me into my brother’s room, which was conveniently located away from where we had chosen to party for the night.

At this point I still had no idea as to what she had in store for me. I was hideously naïve to the point where I was still fairly confused when she turned the lights off and started to undress.

“What are you doing?”

“Are you ready for your present?” She said, trying to sound sexy.

“Umm, yes.” I replied as she sat on top of me and slowly guided my cock inside of her.

I remember trying to recall all the pornography I had ever watched and attempted to mimic their outstanding form. Even with an enormous amount of alcohol swimming through my veins I still seemed to have a million things running through my mind at once. Don’t cum too early! Don’t go soft! Am I doing this right? Should I blow on her face?

Suddenly the door swung open and the silhouette of my dad stood in the doorway. Needless to say I freaked the fuck out and made a run for the door leading to the balcony. For some reason I assumed I was in a lot of trouble so I left my cherry popper laying by herself in the dark. I would then leap from the balcony into my backyard and slip back into my bedroom window, which seemed like the only way to get out of confrontation from my dad. Although quite eager to inform my friends that I was now a man, I was to hide out in my room for the rest of the night like a little bitch.

The next morning I was informed that Jacinta had also fucked my best mate, Daniel, only moments after I did a runner. Oddly enough they have been together ever since.

- Gavin Madden           

The biggest sluts in Thailand

Whilst traveling it is every man’s duty to seek and destroy as much foreign vagina as he possibly can. Whether he is climbing a mountain, visiting a mosque or even on a date with another girl he must always keep his eye for his next target. Cock-blockers are also at an all-time high and can easily disguise themselves as ‘just another friendly backpacker looking to make new friends’. It was this exact mindset that allowed Lionel and I to find the biggest sluts in Thailand.

After our adventures in Koh Tao we headed southwest to Koh Phi Phi as we had heard it was full of Russians and Swedes; boner achieved. The island had been completely destroyed by the tsunami is 2004, but as our boat pulled into the shoreline the scenery made any other place I’d visited look like an absolute dump. The water was crystal clear, the mountains a perfect shade of green and you could smell the sex in the air as we walked amongst an orgy of tourists.

This was paradise.

On our way home from dinner I noticed two girls sampling some street food. They looked familiar, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it so I decided to go find out.

“Hey, do I know you from somewhere?”

“Hey! Yeah we met you and your friend in the street party in Bangkok a few days ago.” She replied with an engaging smile.

We must have been so shitfaced that we didn’t remember girls we spoke to only days beforehand.

“Oh okay, well I suppose you’ll be going out tonight?” I asked already know that her answer would be…

“Yeah for sure, my friend and I will be on the beach at 11 you should come party with us.”

I agreed it would be a good idea. Lionel and I had just found our new targets for the night.

By 11 Lionel and our two new South African mates had successfully downed several litres of concentrated Redbull mixed with vodka. With energy similar to that of a person who had just snorted 5 grams of cocaine, our penises lead us towards the beach bars in search of the girls.

Within 5 minutes we had spotted the girls sitting on beanbags watching drunken retards jump through a ring of fire. As I made my way over I made a mental note to strategically sit next to the decidedly more attractive girl. Amelia was tall blonde and slender with noticeable bright blue eyes. Her kiwi accent wasn’t enough to distract me from her over-the-top flirting and obvious body language.

“Did you know Kiwis are the most promiscuous women on the planet?” I said with a smirk

“No, I didn’t know that, but sometimes I can see why.”

As soon as she finished her sentence I leaned in and kissed her. We kissed for no more than 30 seconds before we continued our conversation as if nothing had happened.

During our conversation I had noticed Rob, one of the South Africans, getting cozy with the Amelia’s friend, Kelly. She was a short, English, brunette with a sizable rack and a naturally sexual nature. They seemed to be in a deep conversation so Lionel and the other South African, Mike, were left to fend for themselves.

After countless buckets I found myself alone with Amelia. She was keen for us to meet back up with Kelly. She had mentioned to Amelia that she wanted to kiss a guy with long blonde hair so she was happy to share me with her. Within a few minutes my tongue was down Kelly’s throat while Amelia watched.  Amelia then went back and started kissing Rob.

“Wanna come see how shitty my hostel room is?” I said turning my full attention back to Amelia. Making it completely obvious I wanted to fuck and I wanted to do it right now.

“Yeah, but we need to get food on the way home.”

Through an alcoholic haze I somehow resisted the urge to eat on the way. I know too well that a stomach full of greasy food would make me sleepy and affect my sexual performance.

As we fucked I remember thinking “How the fuck do I have an erection right now? I can’t even see 2 metres in front of me.” Much to my surprise I was even able to blow a solid load onto her stomach.

The following day Rob informed me that he took Kelly home, but failed to maintain a full and firm erection so he resorted to eating her pussy for a stupid amount of time. This saddened me, so I gave him some words of encouragement along the lines of: “That’s cool, just fuck her tonight. Make sure you don’t get too drunk though.”

The night started just the way it had the previous night, although this time Amelia had eyes for Mike and Kelly had eyes for Lionel. They were going to perform the classic switch-a-roo, which didn’t bother me as I had already emptied a load onto Amelia. I also found it funny that Mike would kiss the very lips that were wrapped around my cock less than 24 hours beforehand.

I decided to find some fresh meat, but every time I spoke to another girl either Amelia or Kelly would deliberately come over and cock-block. Not only did they want to perform a switch-a-roo, they also didn’t want the guys they had kissed the previous night to find someone else incase they needed one of us to fuck as a backup. Smart girls.

After a few hours of disgusting make out sessions Mike broke it to Amelia that he had a girlfriend back in South Africa and wasn’t going to sleep with her. I could see the disappointment in her eyes as he left the party to go home. Her attention quickly turned back to me. As Rob had gone off on his own Lionel and I were left with the two girls.

“Let’s go home!.” Kelly demanded

I wasn’t overly keen on fucking the girl I’d already fucked just after Mike had rejected her, but if they were just going to cock-block me I didn’t stand a chance with anyone else. I think it’s safe to say girls are 10 times the cock-blocker any man could ever be.

We arrived back at our room around 30 minutes later. Kelly immediately got naked and began pushing her tits up against the window as partygoers walked past. Lionel followed suit and suggested she join him for a shower. I was curious to find out exactly what these girls were all about. They seemed to work well as a team and had successfully gone through the four of us within two nights and made it look easy.

“So how long have you to known each other?” I asked

“We used to work on a cruise ship for 3 years, but have only been travelling for 2 weeks together.”

“…You seem to have the whole ‘picking up men thing' down pat.” I said. Trying to delve a little deeper.

“Yeah Kelly and I have fucked a guy basically every night since we started travelling”

I quickly did some simply maths.

“So between you two you have fucked nearly 30 guys in two weeks?”

“Yeah, give or take.” She said, not making eye contact

“Fuck” I said trying to hide my eagerness to get my dick checked.

I didn’t push the conversation any further than that. I felt compelled to let Lionel know that the girl he was about to fuck most likely had AIDS, but decided against it. If I had AIDS he was going to have AIDS also!

All four of us sat on the bed together talking random shit. At this stage in my head they were an 8/10 on the slut-o-metre, but I was keen to increase that to a 9 or 10.

“Lionel, I think you should spread Kelly’s legs and eat her pussy right now.” I suggested, grinning from ear to ear.

“Right now, in front of you two?” said Lionel

“Yes.”

As Amelia and I played with Kelly’s enormous breast and without any hesitation Lionel spread Kelly’s legs and slid his tongue inside her pussy.

“Okay Lionel, now I think you should baaa like a sheep as you’re doing it”

His baaaa was muffled by her vagina, but it was still a baaaa nonetheless.

After we fucked both of them I turned to Lionel…

“Lionel my man, I think we’ve found the biggest sluts in Thailand”

- Gavin Madden

Top 4 ways to freedom

People always seem to be envious of the life I live. They use the words "Jealous" or the phrase "You're so lucky". I, however don't see it as luck, I just choose to avoid the following: 

1. Buy a house

Paying off a mortgage for 20 years doesn't exactly sound like fun to me. Your grandparents did this and your parent most likely did this also, but it doesn't make it right. People save to buy houses because they want stability, but stability directly affects your freedom. Buying a house will limit you to be in one part of the world for at least 90% of the year and with repayments you can hardly afford, there is nothing left to have fun with. 

The only logical reason I would ever buy a house would be to sell it five years later for a profit. I would use these profits for travel, but this means I would be home for a high percentage of the those 5 years paying the mortgage, thus the reason I am yet to buy an investment property.

I haven't met many homeowners that do anything more than work in a job they dislike to pay off a house they don't necessarily need.

2. Start your career early

You potentially have 40 years of full time employment ahead of you, why would you bother rushing into that? 

Why make the decision of what you want to do for the rest of your life in your 20's?

Coming straight out of high school I had no idea what I wanted to do and was amazed at the fact that people were enrolling in courses they may not even want to do at the end of their 3-4 year course. You change a lot in those first years out of high school so I decided I wouldn't go to university because I had to, it would be because I wanted to. I'm still yet to go to university and I seem to be having a lot more fun than most of the people I know.

Your career can wait, your youth cannot.

3. Girlfriends

I don't see myself settling down until i'm in my 30's so I see no reason to tie myself down with a girlfriend. 

You will rarely find a 'taken man' that enjoys the same freedom as a bachelor. Having a girlfriend makes it twice as hard to find the freedom that anyone can have. Not only is traveling with a girlfriend one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life, it also made me resent her. I saw how much fun all the single backpackers were having and I felt as though I was missing out on something special. Then again, you will always have the 1 in 10 couple that have just as much fun so I mean this in a general sense.

4. Listen to what other people think you should do

Having to listen to what other people think you should do is something people deal with day in day out. I reserve taking advice from people who are doing or have already done something I really want to do. Not from people who think that just because they can't do it, you can't do it either.

If someone says you can't do something, it's probably because they don't have the energy, guts or drive to do it themselves.

Don't be a victim of the 'School-Work-Marriage-House-Baby-Work-Work-Work-DIE' attitude that a lot of people still have. Do whatever the fuck you want!

- Gavin Madden

Two bangs, one night

Before arriving in Koh Tao we had heard it was great for two things: Diving and partying. I was only looking to dive into vagina so I decided that sticking to hunting for it on land would be my best option.

We shared a room with a Canadian and a few other German men so having sex with one of our roommates was out of the question. The Canadian seemed the coolest so Lionel and I decided to let him tag along as we made our way to the bars.

Earlier in the night we had been told that a place called ‘The Fish Bow’ was the best place to party so we decided to take their advice. As soon as we entered Lionel struck up a conversation was a tall, tanned brunette so the Canadian and I patrolled the dance floor for a while.

After no more than two minute of assessing the dance floor the Canadian tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the other side of the bar towards where Lionel and his girl were standing. My eyes quickly filtered out the smoky haze and laser lights to see Lionel having an intense make out session with the girl he had spent no more than 3 minutes talking to. He had moved fast and this prompted me to start approaching anything with a vagina as to kick start a better pussy hunting mindset.

With five approaches under my belt I headed back to the bar to get a drink. Lionel had left his girl by this time and was busy wooing another potential suitor on the other side of the club.

At this point I’d like to mention that Lionel and I look quite similar so in a dark club I would understand if you were to mistake one of us for the other.

Before I could even open my mouth to order a Redbull vodka I was spun around:

“There you are!”

“Huh?” I blurted out. Completely confused as to who this girl was.

She pulled my head in and thrust her tongue down my throat. I decided not to say anything. I was confused, but I’m not stupid.

We made out like porn stars for two minutes before it clicked. It was the same girl Lionel had been kissing only minutes before and she assumed there was only one person in the bar that looked like him. She was a lot cuter than what she looked like from a distance and as Lionel had disappeared, it was only human for me to oblige when she asked me if I wanted to go skinny-dipping.

She took my hand and quickly guided me out of the club like she had done it a million times before, which she probably had. We stopped at a nearby pool and took our clothes off as if they were on fire. She dove in and swam to the other side of the pool and I was quick to follow suit as my penis began to fill with blood. Before we were close enough to kiss I slid my hand up her thigh and began to rub her pussy.

“Come over here” she said whilst slowly swimming toward the steps in the far corner of the pool.

She spread her legs and guided my fully erect penis inside of her. The water rippled as I thrust in and out, transforming the once still water into a wavy sex pit.

“I want it in my ass” she whispered as to make sure no one cold hear how much of a slut she really was.

I turned her over slowly slid the length of my cock into her looser than average asshole. I’m not sure how I find these anal sluts, but I seemed to have had more anal sex than the average male. I would eventually cum inside of her ass and she would decide to go home, but I was curious to see how Lionel and the Canadian were doing.

I walked around the club for ten minutes, but Lionel and the Canadian were nowhere to be seen. I felt as if my job was done for the night so made my way back out the door towards my hostel.

As I made my way home I began to analyse my night. What did I do right?  What did I do wrong? These types of situations don’t happen all the time so I needed to focus on making the situation and not counting on sex falling into my lap. As I asked myself these questions over and over again I noticed the silhouette of a female walking towards me along the path; she was cute and by herself. I decided to try my luck for shits and giggles.

“Hello!”

“Hello” She replied enthusiastically as she slowed down to chat.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m trying to find my friend. She has disappeared and I’m by myself.”

This sentence is music to any horny man’s ears. Not only does it mean you can keep her company, it also means her friend has probably already hooked up so she is now that little bit more desperate to find someone to fuck.

I decided to go for broke. I’d already fucked one girl for the night so I didn’t really feel like hanging around for hours until she was ready for sex.

“Well I guess you’re going to have to find someone to kiss”

“Ummmmm I’m not sure about that” She said in a German accent.

I didn’t bother with any more conversation. I gently grabbed her hands and pulled her towards me. There was no resistance so I kissed her. The kissing was fairly heated and it quickly turned into an anything goes grope session. It was about this time when I realised we were basically dry fucking on a lit footpath at 3am after meeting no more than one minute beforehand.

I stopped and looked around for a suitable place to fuck. My cock was red raw and wasn’t exactly clean, but that didn’t stop her from sucking it as soon as we found a nearby balcony. As she sucked I thought to myself, “If only she knew my cock had been up some other girl’s ass only thirty minutes beforehand.”

“Now fuck me!” She barked as she took off her panties and lifted her summer dress.  

Why did I ever book a flight home?

- Gavin Madden