“You should fuck my sister.”

They are cock-blockers, understandably protective and most of the time a lot bigger than me. Their worst nightmare is that one of their close friends enjoys the warmth of his sister’s vagina even if it means he has to escort her all the way back home. They know all too well what is going through a male’s mind and will do anything in their power to make sure anyone perceived as ‘bad news’ best try to find a different girl to fuck. It is on very rare occasions that you will find a brother going out of his way to make sure his sister gets laid. It was mid-way through the summer of 2010 that I met Matthew, a young boy that changed my view of the dynamics of a healthy brother/sister relationship.

I, like many men have a female sibling and would rather fist myself than to get involved in her sex life. On many occasions I have given my sister advice on how to avoid ‘players’, but try to keep my nose out of her relationship problems unless it’s an emergency. So where would you find a boy that openly discusses his sister’s sex life (or lack thereof)? No other place but Sweden.

Matthew was a 16-year-old stereotypical Swedish boy. He was tall and skinny with blonde hair. His Americanised accent was the result of watching too much western television in order to perfect his English. He was on holiday with his two sisters in Lagos, Portugal, which is possibly the worst place in the world to take your sisters if you aren’t overly happy with the idea of them being sexually harassed by people like me.

His sister’s were 18 and 17 respectively. Elin, the oldest of the two, had very long straight brown hair with a pale complexion and a thin build. Emily had a gymnast physique, tanned skin, wavy blonde hair and was slightly more attractive than Elin.

They would visit the bar I worked at a few days consecutively before I had a chance to have a few drinks with them after work one night. The bar I worked at was small and thin, but had just enough space for a reasonable amount of people to be on the dance-floor at any given time. It was whilst Elin and Emily were on that very dance-floor that Matthew approached me at the bar.

“Hey, you should fuck my sister.”

“What?” I said thinking I had misheard him over the thumping electronic music.

He leaned in closer, cupped his hands and repeated…

“You should fuck my sister.”

I didn’t know how to react. Was this a joke or was he being genuine?

“What? Why? Which one? I mean, why do you want me to fuck her?" I said still trying to figure out his motives.

“Elin. She’s a virgin and she says she wants you to be her first.” He replied.

“Oh.” Was all I could say; for once in my life I was lost for words. “Is he seriously cock-hunting for his own sister?” I remember thinking to myself as I took another sip of my vodka Red bull.

It was as if the pussy god had chosen to possess Matthew for this moment in time and given me permission to violate an innocent boy's sister for no other reason but for the pleasure of making my penis happy.

I wasn’t prepared to question him any further so I gave Matthew a nod and quickly turned to face his sister who was still dancing with Emily on the dance-floor. Within a few seconds I found myself face to face with Elin. There was no need for small talk, as it seemed Matthew had done all the talking that was required. Although he wasn’t in any way intimidating, I wasn’t overly keen on her brother watching me mash faces with her so I decided it would be best to get her back to my room as soon as possible.

She showed little resistance as I lead her up the stairs. Not unlike previous nights my room was occupied by another couple so I decided the roof top terrace would be a suitable Plan B. With the sounds of partygoers in the bars below we were quick to turn a few beanbags into a makeshift bed. Our clothes were off before I even started devising a plan on how to get her naked. In the streetlight it was easy to see that her vagina was that of a virgin. It was ‘the perfect slit’ every man hopes for when removing the panties of a girl he’s about to ravage.

“Wait…I’m a virgin.” She whispered

“I know. Your brother told me” I replied.

“Be gentle.”

The sex was understandably average and with the sounds of immense pain it was incredibly hard to keep an erection. She started crying afterwards which she would describe as "pain AND happiness tears". I have since made a pact with myself to avoid virgins at all costs even if it means sacrificing a notch. I simply know I wouldn't find it enjoyable.

I met with Matthew the following day…

“Hey, I heard you fucked my sister on your rooftop. Good job.”

- Gavin Madden